EmVibe #2 - Imbibe pt. 1

Life lessons in hope for better futures, grace, change, ubuntu, and abundance.

Nowadays, I find myself really struggling with recent experiences I’ve had with men while navigating the wine industry. Of course, many of them lack interest in the safety and care of women, gender-diverse, and trans folks. And interest is the prerequisite for awareness which leads to real concrete practices of protection, advocacy, and solidarity for issues that women, gender-diverse, and trans folks must face.

Why am I writing this? Maybe because of the unease I still feel from having to tell an older man at a wine industry event I attended this week not to touch me, to which he responded, “Why?”. This was the second instance and second wine event within the last month that a man I just met caressed my shoulder despite me pulling away and being clearly uncomfortable.

But, is this really why I’m writing this, or is it that less than 2 months ago a so-called “friend”, who I knew from my hometown and who had recently attended a wine tasting I hosted, expressed keen interest in helping me out during a life transition, all to take advantage of me while I was in a vulnerable place? That is, deciding to roofie me, knowing that I was isolated away from most family and friends, across the country in a state with some of the highest statistics for human trafficking in the U.S..

But… is that really why I’m writing this or is it that I’m still deeply disheartened that the male winemaker whom I worked for which prompted my move to Oregon, turned the tasting room security cameras on me and other tasting room staff (instead of the entrance and customer seating areas as they had previously been positioned to view) less than a month after a daytime shooting took place across from said business location? Or is it that he fired me over my advocacy on a tipping issue on behalf of myself and the other hourly employees? Or was it that I was also promised healthcare before starting the job, and it became clear after just a few months that he never intended for that to be a reality?

Maybe all of these things are why I’m writing this. But that doesn’t even cover the instances that have occurred over the decade of experience I’ve had working in the wine industry. I have felt the full range of emotions; pure rage, a bottomless pit of sadness… everything. But when I think about how the world we live in has somehow led many men (not all) to act in ways that are “out-of-touch” with a certain level of regard for the humanity of others, consent, awareness and mutual respect, my heart aches. Because the world I know that we can create for ourselves is so much better, so much more safe and fulfilling than whatever life living off the scraps that domination and scarcity thinking could ever do for us.

… To be continued….